


Need Directions?

by Awkwardly_Poetic



Category: Dan Howell (YouTube ), Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Phil Lester (Youtube)
Genre: F/M, Growth, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I wrote this before they came out, Major Original Character(s), Self-Harm, Suicide, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Written years ago, Youtuber - Freeform, relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-06-29 01:30:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19819753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkwardly_Poetic/pseuds/Awkwardly_Poetic
Summary: I started writing this years ago and it has grown a lot. I wrote this before they came out. Enjoy the growth of my writing.Lainey moved to London to get away from her past and to get out there. When she first gets there she gets a little lost and has to trust a handsome stranger to lead her around. Then she realizes she knows this man but he doesn't know her. She is taken on a long and crazy journey to find herself. Will she find her way or will she always just need some directions?





	1. A little lost

Lainey's POV

'ok see you at shake-away in half a hour~ Kenlee'  
I sighed at my phone because I hadn't been here long and already I was lost. I tried to scan the area for someone that could help me. I would use my phone GPS but I couldn't tell you North from South-East. I was so turned around in this busy city. The lack of eternal sunshine I was used to was also discombobulating. I spotted a man that dawned a purple plaid shirt and a long, feathered fringe. 

"Um, do you know where shake-away is?" I asked the lanky man. His eyes met mine and I could see this kindness and light in them. 

"Yes, I do." he said, a smile forming from the corners of his mouth.

"Do you mind pointing me in the right direction to it?" I said pulling at my sleeve.

"Well I was heading there now so I would walk with you there if you want." he started walking down the street and I skipped to catch up with his long strides. " I'm Phil by the way." 

"They call me Lainey." I said returning the smile he gave me. "Give me the sales pitch on you."

"The what?" He said confused with his brows furrowed. Quickly he started to understand. "ughhh, I'm 26, i'm from Manchester. Last Name: Lester. I love lions. I live my flat with my friend Dan, who I am meeting at Shake-Away. I work on a Radio 1 show and have a growing Youtube Chanel. I can't sing. I love having a good time with my mates. I never match my socks and I think you're cute." he explained and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. "Your turn."

"Oh um, I'm 20 years old. Last Name: Wells. I love hedgehogs. I'm American. I moved into a flat with my two friends, Nicole and Kenlee, two weeks ago. My friend, Kenlee, moved here six months before Nicole and I, and is waiting for me at shake-away. I was suppose to be there half an hour ago, but I have no clue where it is. I can sing among other various things. I work at this arts studio with Kenlee and Nicole, where I give vocal, dance, and acting lessons. I have Youtube channel that isn't very popular. I am obsessed with music and I think you have the most beautiful eyes." I explained and I could see him now blushing.

"Oh well, thanks. What is your favorite color?" He asked, not allowing there to be silence between us.

"Any shade of blue but mostly teal. you?" I returned the question.

"Mine is orange."

"Favorite TV show?" I decided we could do this little back and forth.

"BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!" He said with such excitement.

"I have never seen it." He looked at me with such disgust. I felt kind of ashamed of my answer when he looked at me like that. 

"Oh my god, you have never seen Buffy." 

"Never. My favorite is Doctor Who." I said.

"Haven't seen it." He said and I mocked the look he gave me before.

"Oh my god, you have never seen it." I continued to mock him, trying to emulate his accent. "How far is it till shake-away?"

"Look forward and you'll see." I looked forward to see Shake-Away just a little further ahead. We reached the door and I turned to shake his hand.  
"Thank you for walking me here Phil, good bye now." I started walking inside.

"wait, Lainey!" He said grabbing my arm lightly.

"Yes Phil, what is it?" I asked, turning back to him.  
" Um here is my number in case you get lost again." He said said extending his phone to switch numbers.  
"I'll keep it in mind." I said sliding my phone in my back pocket.

"See you around."

I waved my hand as I walked through the door. I went straight over to Kenlee to talk about our duet. She started talking right away. I was zoning out until she started moldy shouting my name.

"what what is it?" I asked as she caught me staring at Phil and who I'm guessing is Dan.

"You are staring at those guys like you want to go talk to them. Wait a minute, its AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire! Amazing." She stated with enthusiasm.

"well I don't know about the last part, but the one with black hair walked me here, his name is Phil." I explained trying to hide my interest.

"What did I tell you about talking to strangers?" She asked not expecting an answer.

"well if I didn't I would still be at the train station." I stated matter-o-factly.

"whatever, so back to our duet." She droned on again.

PHIL'S POV

I walked over to Dan who was sitting at the table with my milkshake.

"that will be 5 pounds." I pulled out the money and gave it to him. I sat down and he began telling me about some old lady on the tube.

"Hey Dan, see that girl in the blue skinny jeans and Coldplay shirt." I interrupted. He looked over to Lainey and her friend.

"Yeah, what about her?' He seemed unenthused.

"She is the most amazing person ever." I mooned at her. It was stupid to think this so soon but I couldn't help but feel pulled to her.

" How do you know that by looking at her?" Dan was skeptic as he should be.

"I walked her here because she was lost and we talked about her and me and I wasn't shy." It was strange for me to not feel so uncertain. 

'So what does that have to do with any thing?" He wanted some clarity. 

"I want to invite her over to our flat to hang out." I stated finally letting out my true intentions. 

"No." he was curt.

"Come on Dan you know I need someone that is really happy all the time. And I bet she could get her friend for you."

"Phil don't pull that crap."

"Dan please."

"Okay lets go"

TAYLOR'S POV

"Hey Taylor." Phil's voice made me jump.  
"Hey Phil." Kenlee cleared her throat."This is my friend, Kenlee, this must be Dan hi." Dan nodded.  
"Yes, hello Ken."  
"My name is Kenlee, not Ken, not Lee, but Kenlee. huff." She plugged in her headphones and blasted out the latest muse album as loud as possible.Dan walked over to Kenlee and started talking about muse with her.  
"Well ignore that what did you need?"  
"Um, I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my flat and hang out if you had nothing to do? You can bring Kenlee.'  
"Sure we would love to come."  
"Cool well lets head over to my flat." We grabbed Kenlee and Dan and walked out.


	2. Talk to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil get to know Kenlee and Lainey

TAYLOR'S POV

“Neat flat." I stated after Dan had taken Kenlee away somewhere in the flat leaving me and Phil alone.

“Thanks.” He said slipping off his shoes. I looked around at the whole of the apartment.

"So what are we going to do?” I asked returning my gaze to his blue eyes.

"We could talk and listen to music.” He suggested walking toward an extensive collection of CDs.

"Do you have any thing from System of a Down or Coldplay?” I asked sitting on the couch tucking my needs to my chest.

“No, sorry.” He said searching through the shelves. 

'What about We The Kings?” I thought surely he must have them. I thought I could see the red case of one album I was very familiar with. 

"Now that, I have." He held up a couple of albums trying not to drop them. I chuckled and pointed to red covered, We The Kings’ We The Kings album. 

”I love this album.” I said throwing my head back and closing my eyes to listen to the angsty guitars.

"Me too. What is your favorite song?” Phil said. I could feel him join me on the couch.

“Check Yes Juliet.” I stated. I kept my eyes closed and listened as Sweet Valentine began to play.

“Mine too. What state are you from?” He asked. I could feel his eyes on me.

“Florida. I’ve got salt water in my veins.” I smiled. My mom used to tell me that when I was little. 

"Doesn't that hurt.” He shyly pressed. I couldn’t help but laugh and I opened my eyes finally so he could see if I was joking.

“Phil, I don't really have salt water in my veins, I just love any thing to do with water or the beach.” I clarified and a look of relief came over him.

"Your parents don't mind you moving away from them? I know you’re grown but, still?” He made me laugh a little with his question because it was sort of loaded. I decided it would be best to keep honest. 

"Well um, my parents died when I was 17, so I lived with my aunt Josie for two years. Then I lived with my friends, Nicole and Kenlee, got a job, saved money, and moved here to London.” A look of subtle horror covered his face and I could see him trying to find the right words.

'Wow I'm so sorry.” He stammered. 

"It's all good. I'm fine."I said fighting back the tears as an arm wrapped around my shoulders hugging me.

“I wish I could tell you I know what it feels like.” He looked at me with his crystal blue eyes and I couldn’t help myself. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips on his. He melted into me. I don’t know what pulled me to him. Maybe it was his smile, maybe it was those eyes, maybe it was the way made me laugh. All I knew was how good his kiss tasted. How much my fingers liked touching the bare skin and hair on the back of his neck.  
"I'm sorry." I apologized as I pulled away collection my hands in my lap. He chuckled.

“No need to apologize. I quite liked it.” I smiled at him. We started talking about our favorite memories and music. He made me laugh and I could feel a small pull to him. I noticed him looking at my lips quite a bit and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been imagining him all over me. I eventually looked at my phone.

“Oh my gosh, it's 12. I got to get back to the flat.” I half shouted and stood up fast starting to head towards the door.

"You could stay here tonight, if you like. We have a guest room and you’re welcome to it.” He offered standing up himself.

"It's okay with Dan?”I asked just thinking of him and Kenlee with a fading thought.

"I think Dan will be okay.” He clarified. I’m sure he thought of how Ken was with him still.

"Thank you again. Where did you say the room was?” I asked walking back to him.

"Down the hall, to the left.” He was right in front of me and I had to resist kissing him again.

"See you in the morning” I said starting down the hall. 

"see you” He called out with a hint of sadness to it. Like he regretted something. Maybe he wanted to kiss me too.

Kenlee POV

"So you want to see all I my albums? I've got everything muse, and most of MCR and Panic! At the disco. They're all in my room if you wanna follow me…” Dan said entering the apartment and leading me up the stairs.

“Yeah, definitely." I said following Dan to his room. He is a pretty cool guy. We are into a lot of the same things and he is just adorable. He had a laugh that I could help but smile at and his sarcasm matched my dramatics perfectly.

“Oh my god! You have everything!” I shout as he showed me the large collection of CDs in his desk.  
"It's seems that I do. How about we blast some Fall Out Boy and you can tell me more about yourself?” He suggested popping in a CD.  
"Um alright. I don't really know where to go with this but I'm 20, I've danced all my life, I both teach and compete, I'm normally very shy, my past isn't the best, I moved here 5 months ago and my friends moved here with me a little while ago, my favorite color is purple, my hair is naturally blonde, I have 7 siblings and I'm the oldest, oh and I know who you are already and I'm trying really hard not not completely freak out because of all the feels.” I blabbed. I had trouble holding in my words when I got going. Now I was here with someone I grew with from a distance. I watched him on Youtube for as long as I could remember.

"You're a Danosaur?” He asked raising an eyebrow with a smirk.

"Yes I am, and a Phillion but that’s a given.” I added. We quickly spiraled into a long discussion on YouTubers and our respective channels and laughed till we couldn’t breath over our favorite memories until my phone finally buzzed.

’TF guys aren't you coming home? -Nicole’ 

"Oh shit. It's like 1 in the morning, I should get home." I said standing and sighing softly.

"You guy can stay the night. Phil won't mind and I think I heard the guest room door close a while ago.” He said sitting up on his elbows.

" I guess so. Would you mind if I stay in here?” I asked messing with the hem of my baggy shirt.

"I wouldn't suggest anything else." He said in a nonchalant tone and a wink.

He rolled off his bed and walked to his wardrobe to get his cotton pants. While he was turned around I went to my dance bag that had with me since shake away and changed into the extra pair of spandex shorts I always carried with me.

I threw my hair into a messy bun and climbed into his bed."Attractive." He said crawling under the covers. I tried to stay farther away from him but he inched closer. Our faces right in front of each other.

"Don't judge me you twat.” I scrunched my nose at him. Before I knew it he had grabbed my face and planted his lips on mine. They were soft and I couldn’t help but kiss him back. I could tell in that kiss this night was just getting started.


	3. Here I am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody likes everybody. Nicole meets boys and we meet nicole. Phil meets Lainey's past and Lainey meets AmazingPhil.

TAYLOR'S POV  
I woke up and stumbled out of bed heading towards the kitchen to see if I was the first one up. Phil was pouring a mug of coffee and he was lacking a shirt but did have fuzzy pajama pants on.

”Good morning." Phil smiled and I was suddenly aware of my lack of pants due to his eyes inspecting me through his glasses. I was lucky that my shirt covered a decent amount and I pulled casually at the seam.

“Morning, can I have a cup?” I asked trying to shake the sleep from my voice.

"Sure thing." He passed me a glass of coffee. I was warm on my cold hands. I couldn’t adjust to this new climate here. I was used to heat all the time. 

"I didn't know you wore glasses.” I said pressing the mug to my lips and getting just a nip of the sweet coffee.

"I wear contacts a lot of the time and there is a lot about me you don't know.” He said leaning against the counter taking a drink from his coffee as well.

“That's true." Dan and Kenlee entered the room holding hands with large smiles. She was wearing his shirt and his hair curly. Me and Phil looked at each other."That was fast.” He nodded in agreement.

"Morning bitch." I said to Kenlee taking another drink of the heavenly coffee. I could know tell that it was hazelnut favored.

"Morning hoe." She responded sitting with me at the counter. Phil’s eyes were getting wide. 

“What, Phil?” I asked raising my eyebrow sliding my mug over to Kenlee so she could also try.

"He doesn't support cursing.” Dan answered for him. Leaning on the counter with Phil.  
"OH MY GOD!” Kenlee and I said at the same time. Looking at each other and then to Phil. 

“Dan, what are we going to do today?” He asked kind of like a child with a plan.

"Well Phillip, I think we should take these lovely ladies to the London Eye and show them around.” He said in the same tone, winking at us. I wondered when they had time to plan this. Maybe it was what they did all the time. Just seduce woman and ‘show them around’. 

"Sounds good, Daniel. Ladies?” Phil asked looking at us. 

“Sure. Can we use your shower and do guys have a hairdrier?” Kenlee downed the rest of the mug and hopped off the counter stool. 

“Yes, and yes, you can use it when you’re done.” Dan said leading Kenlee to the bathroom.

An hour later we were on our way out. Kenlee and Dan hand and hand, Phil and I chatting. Before I knew it there it was, The London Eye. Basically a giant Fairis Wheel over the river with glass rooms instead of buckets. We were loaded in just Dan, Phil, Kenlee, and I.

"It's so beautiful.” I said looking out the window.

"Yeah it is. Lainey, can I ask you something?” Phil asked softly.

"Of course Phil.”I said turning to face him.

”Lainey, I feel like we have this connection and I think you are positively wonderful. You are way more beautiful than anyone I’ve ever met, except like my mom. Would you date me?” He had my hands in his. I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks and I just wanted to kiss him right here right now for as long as he’d let me.

"Phil, I would have said yes last night if you had asked me." He picked me up and spun me around. I stood on my tip toes and pulled his head down to me so I could press my lips against him. He pulled my waist closer to him with one hand and held my face with the other hand. 

After we got off and the boys showed us one of their favorite places to eat, we decided to take them back with us. 

”Whats up Nico, my be-otch."I screamed to Nicole as the four of us walked in the living room to see her.

"Who's your friends?” She asked looking up from her phone on the couch.

“This Phil, I claim him. That is Dan and-“ I explained until Kenlee cut me off.

"Dan is my boyfriend." Kenlee added leaning on his shoulder. Nicole only raised her eyebrows at us. I began to explain everything that happened yesterday.

"So you stay the night at a guy who helped you to shake-away’s house. Am I the only one who finds this shady?” Nicole asked trying to process everything that had happened. 

"Yes." Phil said. I couldn’t help but chuckle. 

"By the way Dan and Phil are staying here tonight then will be gone tomorrow before work.” Kenlee stated starting to drag Dan toward her room. 

“Okay, but I'm not giving up my room.” She said returning to her phone. Phil and I took to my room.

\---------

"So Phil you have a youtube?"I questioned Phil as we sat in my room lit Christmas lights and my laptop on my desk.

"Yes I can't believe you don't know about AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire.” He said with a humble brag. 

"Could we watch some of your videos?” I asked curious to get to know him more and understand who he was.

“Sure." He said typing out his channel name and finding a video. We watched why 'Why I was a weird kid 1 and 2’, 'Phil is not on fire 1,2,3, and 4', and then 'I don't like cheese’.

"I think its cool you don't like cheese. I don't like spaghetti.” I tried to connect. He was funny. I laughed through every video. I could feel the attraction growing inside of me.

“Lets watch some of your vids.” He suggested. I groaned a little.

"I don't know. They are pretty bad.” I was trying all I could to get him to back off without being aggressive.

"Come on Lainey, please.” He pouted and kissed my cheek lightly.I couldn’t help but give in. I did have some easy videos to watch. 

“Okay, Phil."I typed up my user-name and clicked on the 'A day in the life of SwedishFish’ 

Hey there lovies! It's SwedishFish here. I asked what to do and you guys said film a day in my life so here we go!  
*switches to me in bed*  
It's 9:30a.m. time to wake up the girls and eat breakfast.  
*goes down hall to Nicole's room. Jumps on her.*   
(me)Yo slut wake up!!!!We gotta go to work!!!   
(Nicole) Get out of my fucking bed bitch and get that fucking camera out my face.

"That's a lovely way to wake someone up."Phil said shocked.

"wait till you see how we wake up Lee.” I said remembering this day. 

*we open the door and blow an air horn twice.*  
(me)LEE YOU BITCH WAKE UP!!!! THERE IS SOME CUTE GUY AT THE DOOR FOR YOU!!  
(Kenlee)WHAT?!?  
(me)JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!  
*pillow smacks my face and I laugh uncontrollable*   
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME LAINEY!!!!!   
BECAUSE KEN I HATE YOU!!!  
*we eat breakfast*   
Okay time for a shower  
*showers*   
Now what to wear?  
*Grabs blue shorts, striped shirt, and sandals.*  
Uh hair!!  
*speeds through straightening dark brown, curly hair and making fringe like look*

"You know I like your hair curly better.” He said pausing the video.  
"Thank you, Phil. No one ever told me that.” I said kissing his cheek softly.   
"Your welcome beautiful" He said playing the video again.

Ready to go teach vocal and acting lessons!  
*rushed to walk with Nicole and Kenlee to studio*   
Here we are!  
walks to a small room with keyboard that you can plug your phone into and a tripod*   
This is my one on one room where I'm teaching today.OK see you after Kenlee's sister, Vickie's acting lesson.  
switches to me after lesson*   
Hey there again time for lunch  
*speeds through going to subway and eating sub goes back to studio*   
This where I teach classes or duets. See you after the Grett twins vocal duet.  
*flashes to me outside after duet*   
Time for me to pick up dinner tonight Nicole already went home and Kenlee is still teach the little one's ballet class till seven and it's 6:30 now so to the Chinese place then home  
*flashes to me home*  
Now that I have eaten and showered again, I can check all my social media sites  
*checks sites on laptop*  
LAIN, NICO,MY BITCHES I AM HOME!!!!   
OK lets go see what Kenlee is up too.  
Hey you slut what do you want to do tonight?   
Watch a film!   
Ok I'll get one.*goes over and puts paranormal activity 2*   
GATHER ROUND BITCHES!! see you after the film!  
*flashes to me in my room*   
Time to check out my youtube and read comments. Wow I have 10 Fishies! and 20 new comments time to read!  
*speeds through reading comments*   
Editing time  
*rushes editing*   
okay, 12. time to sleep good night  
*flashes to me originally*   
Alright my little Fishes now you know about my life. Tweet me questions for my video in two days. Bye my FISHIES  
fish faces out*

"See I told you it was bad!” I whined. I looked over to Phil, who had started strolling through my channel. 

“Lainey, come on now it was pretty good. Is that a 'Draw My life' video I see?” He asked after looking through everything. 

“NO,NO,NO!!!!" I tried to stop him but he started the video. He was going to see it some time I just didn’t want him to see it yet. 

"Too late.” The video starts and explains whole past with my parents not really being there and us being kind-of poor, going to my aunt Julie's house on the beach most of summer, my arts hobbies, being picked on in school for being a ‘slut’ and just hating myself, cutting my self from 13 to 19, meeting my friends at 16 and them finding out I cut, my parents dying and me living with my aunt Josie, when I moved in to a apartment when them I got better and happier. moving to London with Kenlee and Nicole, and starting youtube four years ago and how it makes me happy with every ones support. When it was over I looked at Phil's shocked face and started to cry.

"Oh my god, Lainey.” He said. I think he wanted to be sympathetic but he just learned about how the girl he is dating is actually wack job with more baggage than anyone needs.

"I know, I'm a digesting creature.” I said dropping my head in shame.

“No, I didn’t know you had such a rough past. Let me see your wrists.” I slowly removed my many bracelets to reveal deep, ugly scars up my wrist. Some scars still healing from the last year I cut.

"They're hideous” He kissed them softly.

"They are you so they are beautiful."I cried more.

“Don’t tell me I’m beautiful. I am not beautiful. I am a disgusting beast that tries to cut out her pain. ”I cried. He grabbed my face softly wiping the tears away with his thumbs.

“I’ll never lie to you. You are blind right now. I’ll help you. I’ll be here for you and you don’t have to worry you haven’t scared me off.” He pecks my forehead and holds me close letting me cry on his shoulder.

“I really like you, Phil” I whispered to his shoulder.

“I really like you too, Lainey.” He whispered to my head.


End file.
